The Heart of the Matter

We know people in the context we meet them.  The when and the where, the circumstances that surround the seemingly random meeting of once strangers.  We don’t necessarily know all the people that person has been.  And even if you have been lucky enough to know someone your whole life, people constantly change and evolve, at least they should.

I have had this conversation more than once, “Can people change?”  My thoughts on this are not the point of today’s exercise in using big words (listen, folks, I teach Grade 3, ESL Grade 3.  2 syllables or more are big words for me).  It is merely to say that we do not know all the people someone was, only who he or she is in your life now.

This brings me to me and the decision to be here.  Within the space of 5 months I had accepted an overseas contract to teach in a country I’d never been to, had sold or given away pretty much everything I owned, said good bye to friends and family and flew to Kuwait, a country not known for it’s loving acceptance of an opinionated snippet of a girl.

Obviously it’s my mid life crisis.  Wait…didn’t I have that already?  Multi coloured hair, tattoos, piercings, half marathons and triathlons. I mean, isn’t it because I’ve lost my way and am trying to find some meaning?

How about this.  How about I’ve remembered who I am.  I am the girl who moved out at 17, who said “Why not” as a trail blazer, with a handful of the most amazing women, in the Navy.  The woman who moved to Montreal on her own, who returned in her 40’s to get her Masters at McGill.  I may have gotten lost for awhile, in the expectations of who I was supposed to be be, the role I was supposed to play.  But I’m back.

It is reminiscent of the scene in Hook, where one of the Lost Boys pokes at grown up Robin Williams’ face and after careful scrutiny says, “Oh..THERE you are, Peter!”

My father feels that I should be working towards security and a no cat food retirement.  A pension and a measure of safety. My friends in equal measure think it’s fabulous or I’ve obviously lost my mind.

Myself?  I refuse to have one regret.  I refuse to bet on the chance that I can do it tomorrow.  I refuse to accept that challenge, adventure and excitement are over, now that I am “old”.  I will do what it takes, for me, to wake up each day and say, “I can’t wait…”

Whatever your adventure is, big or small, I urge you to do it.  It doesn’t have to be on the scale of scary, it just has to make you get up and step ever so slightly away from your comfortable chair.  Dye your hair, dye one strand (fuck it, it’s only hair), try a new food, a new sport, a different style.  Move to Kuwait…I have a spare bedroom.

Just sayin’

 

 

5 thoughts on “The Heart of the Matter

  1. Love you Jules. The person I knew when I met you, the person you were as I got to know you, the crazy person who found herself again and decided to up and move to Kuwait and the person who will come back from Kuwait and whoever else you evolve into, because you are always you. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love to read your written word; it’s like a melody that soothes my soul. In this place that we affectionately refer to as “The Sandbox’, emerged a moment in time that will forever remain burnt into my memory. In that regard, I joined you on the “just say fuck it” bandwagon. Had I/we not thrown caution to the wind, I would never have encountered such a remarkable, loving, beautiful & caring woman, you! I will forever remember Kuwait as the land that delivered me into the arms of that woman, together with whom I have discovered love in its purest. Feeling blessed and thankful that I have had you as a co-pilot in our unexpected adventures since and for fulfilling those dreamed of adventures yet to come; YALLA!

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